So I've kept true to my determination. I've set myself a calorie limit as I do not like strict diets and think a calorie limit is more reasonable.

i did that BMR and h calculation thing and came up with a 2335 to maintain and 1335 to loose.

Which gives me lots of hope. I mean I can have bad days, but as long as I stay under the 2335 im ok. and If I aim for 1335 i will be good.

Ive lost 1 kilo so far... i think thats also from passing some ... bowel movements.

Stupid Goals

Hey,

So heres a stupid goal

Getting down to 85 Kilos before the end of this year....


You know what FUck it ! I Can do it!

I Sell myself short sooo much! I dont believe in myself! I HAVE LOST 30 KILOS! (66lbs)

I can fucking do this.


2 Ltrs of water a day - and fuck it I can drink diet cordial.
1 baby bel cheese
1 meal replacement bar
1 shake
1 small meal (or soup) - with bread if it soup is low in cals
2 serves of fruit.

thats a shit load of food to eat and I will not Sabotage myself! I DESERVE BETTER!

I deserve to look ok in a swim suit. even if it covers everything! I deserve to go fucking horse back riding these holidays!

I can do this! and I can do it before the end of the financial year!

I have to think like a skinny person and break myself out of this stupid - you dont deserve this crap!

I need to slow my way into exercise not go into it full ball! WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING!

I need to... wait I WILL stop letting people put me down, letting myself put me down.

So what if my tits looked better when I was fat... Thats the only thing that looked good! the rest looked fucked up and fat...

If you want to get married Lynette You need to loose this weight! You need to start respecting yourself and start putting your goals and your dreams in action. DOnt let this band go to waste! FUCKING DO IT!


NO BISCUITS
NO CAKE
NO FUCKING AROUND

Easy to say while its night time I think....


But Im going to fucking do it.

Im going to do this shit and stop my sub concious mind second guessing itself!



NO MORE CHEESLES! THEY ARNT THAT GOOD!

Learning

Hey,
so I've been keeping a food journal and recording what I eat but most importantly ive been recording the reasons why I overeat and cheat my band and solutions to the problem. One major one for example is bringing money to work,like cash. It's dangerous! I've got a yummy bakery downstairs and there's a snack bar thing like a vending machine on the other side of the officce,where the water cooler is. So to avoid temptation I don't bring money to work. Problem solved.
The next one is eating at uni.... I've resolved that bringing money to uni is a no no but the vending machines have a swipe thing for the card... So I'm taking a water bottle of diet cordial tonight n we shall see how that goes as I drink water mainly. But I'm at uni pretty late so I don't know if it's the best idea to be having water that late.....

And then there's binging at home. Yesterday there was a birthday cake so I had some and I think the sugar slump made me go on an eating fest. Also I think drinking my 2 ltrs of water each day is loosening my band heaps... So I might go for another fill.... We shall see
but I also need to keep myself away from the fridge.... It's an evil mistress. And sugary treats that do more long term damage than just the initial calories.

So that's what I'm doing. What did I eat, why did I eat it, and how I can avoid the situation again. I'm taking positive action to progress myself. As I'm sick of this slump and I wanna loose 22 kilos by Christmas. Probably not going to happen though.... But I'm going to try rly hard as I want to feel slightly comfortable in a swim suit this summer....

Well I did come down with a cold... yay for me...


28kilos down... which is 61.6lbs

im freezing cold right now... and going to work...

im on a liquid diet right now... and im going on it for as long as I can... Well liquid and mushie diet.

Yay

Maybe Getting Sick?

Ive been going to the gym this week... (its only tuesday... So Ive been going the last two days). Its been fricken freezing and I think as a result Im coming down with a cold... The back of my throat hurts...

On the flip side... optifast is going good. The diet fits really well into my life style as I get to eat easy and simple things during the day at work
My daily thing is now: - shake for breakfast, fruit cup for morning tea, bar for lunch, baby bel cheese for afternoon snack and I eat whatever I want for dinner oh and another fruit cup for desert

Im getting my 2 serves of fruit in and acouple of serves of veggies in the evening meal.

Im also drinking a shit load of green/white tea and a shit load of water.

And... not weighing myself till Saturday. Determined not to weigh myself till Saturday!

So just doing a blog at work during my lunch break... Its about to hit tax season (end of financial year is in 2 days) So ima be busy which makes this diet work all the more better for me.

CHow.

I'm feeling sexy this morning

This morning, I woke up, and I was feeling sexy.... I showered, dried, went to the bedroom and took my towel off and looked at myself... naked in the mirror...

Maybe I sucked my gut in a little... just a little though... and i turned on sideways and I was like... yeah your looking almost normal lynette... almost sexy... but sexy in your own way kinda thing.

Maybe its the female prime minister who is giving me a "rise of the females" power... I dont know *btw very very very happy about what happened yesterday... sad that KR had to go, he was great but it was in the best interests of the labour party to put Gillard in the top job.*

anyway... so yeah, feeling sexy today, going out tonight... world is looking up for me. *think I just jinxed it*

Wow... been a while

Wow bugger its been a while since I have posted... ALOT has been going on in my life...
We bought the house and moved into it *here I am!*
We had a custody battle with my Fiances Son... *And won!... although nobody ever wins in these things... we got her to drop her application and kept the little guy living with us*
and... Im down to 115.0 Kilos...

15 to go! and I am determined to get down to AT LEAST 99kilos by the end of this year! my happy goal would be 90 kilos... then I could go horse riding during the holidays.... oh that would be fun....

Sooo To do this?

Optifast VLCD, transitional phase... not going near the Intensive phase... thats just too hard!

I need to know how many fruit and dairy serves you get per day though... its curious that it doesnt tell you...


Oh... and I cant wear my engagement ring anymore... its too big... its causing me to have skin problems and iritating those skin problems by moving around so much.... So i have it on a white gold chain around my neck... I love talking to people and they are like, "why are you wearing your engagement ring around your neck?" and I tell them straight up: " I've lost 25kilos.. It doesnt fit anymore, and Ive got more to loose so Im not getting it resized"


Going to get the man and myself of the scales on saturday and we are going to do a weightloss challenge! Set a goal and then each week weigh up and measure up and see how we're going.

He's starting to put on a bit of weight, now that Im not able to eat so well... he's eating my leftovers lol

ok well thats my plan... Im going to iron out the details when I find out about this stupid dairy/fruit thing... Im hoping that its 2 serves of fruit, 1 serve of dairy... cause that would be really nice.....
Going shopping with mum this weekend for my belated 21st birthday pressie... my sister bought us a $200 letter box... Yes they can actually cost that much! because our one was hideous... but we would of had to drill another hole in the ground, concerete it and it would of looked weird.... So we took it back, bought a $30 one which looks great! and this weekend, me mums and I will be going shopping for bakewares... I want a food scale that actually works, some little 1cup baking dishes and some cute little things to make it easier to cook yummy food.



I could go on and on about what we have done to the house.... But I shant... Because its not interesting to people lol


seeya around

Fricken Finally!

Finally! FINALLY!

I am moving! No... we havent heard back about the finance for the house (should be monday or Tuesday). The SCALE! ITS MOVING!

I am at 119.1 Yes Bellow 120! bellow 130! and thank god! bellow 140.6 (my starting weight)

I am 2 kilos off my highest weight in highschool and..... 19.1 kilos... off of the lowest weight I have been since i was 13 years old.

So... sorry Pounds It its: 262 lbs which means I have lost 47lbs!


This plateau has lasted me nearly 2 months. I would have given up if it wasnt for the band.
I can confess my love for the band again... I love you my Gastric Band! You rule!

This is the most weight I've ever lost in one attempt. And it doesnt stop now.

I am 30.5% of the way to my goal, nearly a third there!

Every step is fantastic every little gram I loose makes me smile.

Bitchy Post

I just wanted to have a little bitch...


well not really a bitch but say something bitchy....


I love seeing those rude...mean girls from high school who used to give you all that shit about being fat.... putting on weight!

Sure ok some of them may have pushed out a kid... or some of them two (note I'm 20 turning 21 next month and they have toddlers and babies). But others its just a life of drinking and shitty jobs followed by shitty eating because of the reality sinking in that they peaked in high school.

While... Im about to buy my first home, my career is going along nicely and! I got bellow 120 kilos this morning! 47 lbs down *happy Dance*

Keep on Keeping on.

14/04/10

Hey guys...

I appologise to any of the followers I have that didnt get a comment ... I commented on everyones blog who blogged in the last couple of days but i forgot about the code you need to puyt after to post the comment... so some of you didnt get your comments... Sorry!


Back on Optifast... I lost 900grams yesterday and according to the scales this morning i put on 500 grams... Which is because I ate 2 small packets of chips... 2 easter eggs and a chocolate icecream... NAUGHTY LYNN! Im majorly stressed out and im starting to really recognise the cravings that are linked with my emotions... I recognise them... but Im not at the stage right now to being able to step away from the fridge...

So we're serious again today.. I need to find out how many calories is in a mandarin.


The purchase of the house (I dont know if i have told you guys about this yet) is going better than before. We got a better home loan guy and we're moving along quickly.... but only time will tell...



Seeya around


-Lyn

Bye Bye Easter Bunny

This is my first easter with a 8yr old child in the household... Who knew one fridge could hold so much chocolate... nor that soo much chocolate could survive so long inside my fridge.

Im determined to get the scale moving again. Me and the Scale need to re-establish a happy friendship... In order to re-concile with my scale I need to be putting less weight on it... and if I put less weight on it, it will show me the numbers that will make me happy. Simple science? Right?

But how do we put less weight on the scale? Seeing as how I need all my limbs and am not a fan of purposeful amputation, Im going to have to start dieting again...

Which brings me back to the Evil rabbits and their eggs that have been happily living inside of my fridge.

I told the boys that I wanted them gone! Tonight is the last night that they will be in the fridge, Sunday morning, I'm throwing whatever chocolate remains out.

Which means... Chocolate feast... My god I feel sick....

So Mr. Rabbit, what do you think of that?

Lap band making everyone else fat

I just wanted to say that although the lap band at the moment isnt making me skinny at the moment (something I'm working on because its my fault). Its making my family fat.




Whenever I Don't or cant eat something or have too much, I give the leftovers to my partner or my dog... And let me tell you, my normally skinny dog is putting on the pounds...

The Lap band is making my dog fat.

The fatter they get though, the skinnier I look right?

Feeling Like a Blog

Im in the mood to blog!

Major stress out this last couple of weeks.... We're still waiting on word for the finance about the property, my ugly ass bathroom needs to be completely replaced as there is some substantial water damage and I have 4... yes 4 Tests this week! and its Wednesday and I haven't done 1 yet!

Im debating with myself whether to go on a shake/bar diet or whether to just keep on with the, check how many calories is in it before you eat it, is it worth that many calories thing im doing...

Thought I would share this with you guys.




I love it he he he

Im doing a mothers day challenge on Lap band talk, Its not too late to join ladies.

I am pledging 10lbs.... Good luck to me -_-'''' doubt its going to happen after easter but I can try.


Night yall, my blogging craving has been quenched.

New Challenge

I need a new Challenge, a New goal.. something short term, i always seek to far in advanced and that makes me fail. I need weekly goals...

Maybe next week I can have a goal that I will go to the gym each day sunday - Saturday. Even if its just a walk....

Or Maybe I can do a full week of liquids or something.... Can you guys help me out? I need someone to challenge me! Im going to post this on the lap band talk site so I might reach more people (no offence to my very dedicated 10 followers, your lovely)


Need to kick this back into gear. Been to lazy too long!

Months of being un-motivated

I know this is kinda of a poo poo winging kinda thing, but its my blog so Im going to do it in the hope that putting these words out there will help me.

Ive had a stable plateau for about 2 months now. been around the 20 kilo loss mark and have been putting on acouple of kilos and then loosing them but havent been able to break that 20 kilo mark.

I feel like this is all a waste, because of my unmotivation. I was so motivated and so happy in the first couple of months, I lost so much weight and now, ive hit a stand still.

I feel like im getting pressure from my fiance to pick up the weightloss cause if i dont loose serious weight it seems as if the band is a waste, and i havent felt/noticed any changes.

Ive joined the gym and ive been going and ive got the tight fill that I wanted. So what now?

I know its very easy for me to blame my problems on others; its Luke's fault that i'm failing because hes giving me pressure, its works fault cause im so stressed, its the weather because its making me sick, its all the stress from buying the house (still waiting on finance btw).

I just dont want this to fail... its my last hope at being skinny and I cant fail at this.

i mean to cut myself (and the Band) some slack, Ive lost 20 kilos which is the most amount of weight ive ever lost and im not stacking it right back on.

I just want to kick my life back into gear... Im taking steps, Ive already started drinking more water and Im taking more protein and my multivitamins because ive been suffering from hair loss.

Should I got back to a shake diet? with a small meal in the afternoon?

Go back to the old, shake in the morning, fruit cup for a snack, bar for lunch and cruskits for afternoon snack then small meal for dinner with a frozen popper for desert.....

I dont know what to do.... I think i might put all the pressure off me to loose weight, tell luke that I feel that its making me sabotage and I need all the pressure taken off and I will do it in my own time.

What did you guys do when you hit something similar to this...


PS. I love seeing the shiny bits on my keys where they have been worn out by my typing.

Quick Post

I just wanted to make a quick post with whats been happening in my life to date.

I got my fill, its going good alot more restriction in the morning and I can eat that solid-er stuff so Im going good I think.

I responded to a call for someone to review a Gastric Banding book, A self Biography of someone called "Fat-Chance" And Im getting sent the book in the mail at the moment, YaY!


And last but definatly not least! We are in the process of buying our first home.
We have made an offer, it has been accepted, we're going to look at the property again today and then sign up the necessary paper wrk and put down our .25% deposit ($830 which is non refundable)

The house needs a bit of work but its livable in while we renovate. It has a self contained granny flat downstairs which my mum will be moving into and helping us pay the mortgage.

There are two things Im worried about... well sorry three...

1. The other couple who had been making offers (an investment couple) and been having them rejected will now make a counter offer and beat us to the cake, now that they know the price that the owner will accept

2. We wont be able to get finance, we've got a back up plan of getting my mum to go guarantor for us and then later on re-financing so she doesnt have to. But we would really like to not go through all of that.

3. the roof is in horrible condition and needs completely replacing, we're doing all the pre-liminary building inspections assuming worry's 1 and 2 dont come true, but there is alot of big trees around the property and so we're quite worried that these have had a damagin effect on the roof, considering that I saw some roof tiles around the house and they have cut down one large tree recently and the branches off of another.

So we shall have to see, time for me to get ready for work, wish me luck today.... every time the phone rings im going to be scared its the real estate agent telling me that the other couple has made a larger offer.....

Back Up

Well I have put on weight... I dont know if I have posted that before, but i went all the way up to like 125 (4kilo gain, 8.8 lbs) and im down to 122.8 as of this morning, but thats still around 1.8 kilos from where i was before (4lbs) So I am not happy... but Im hungry all the time! in the morning... all the time, its 6:42 am, Ive had a fruit cup (jelly n fruit) and Im still hungry, going to go make myself some cereal and yogurt soon...

Fill on Monday... Wont have lost any weight unless the scale wants to loose weight between here and then. So I will hopefully be getting a big fill... I need one, I want to set a date for my wedding but I dont want to do so before Im skinny.

Lie for a fill?

Hey guys, I was wondering if anyone out there had ever lied to get a big fill?
My surgery like to generally give them slowly, and think that Im loosing at a good pace, Well last month at least, which I was, but now it has slowed down to a non existance.

I think the proof is going to be in my weight gain from last time I got weighed at the surgery, but i was thinking of maybe adding in that I feel like i have no restrictio (which generally I dont) and that Iget ghungry all the time (which I do, 5am in the morning?! WTH?) So they are not really lies... just exagerations of the truth... right?

Im goign to a different fill guy on monday so I shall see how it goes with him....

wish me luck!!


BTW. Haircut looks fricken ridiculous... once it dried out and went back to its normal shape... I have one layer which sticks out at an awkward angle and it justs looks horrible, going to another hair dresser on thursday to get it fixed...

Fruit Cup Dream

I had a weird dream last night....All throughout the weekend I had been wanting/eating/craving for, fruit cups (the jelly and fruit cups), the fiance has been stopping me eating too many of them, Bless him.
But yeah, This dream was that two friends came over and was they were leaving, or I was dropping them off, they had my fruit cups in their hands... and I asked for them back and told them off for stealing out of my fridge.

"Give me back my fruit cup!"


Thats all...

Oh an a church of the exclusive brotherin is apparently getting built up the road from me... I dont really know mucha bout this church but what I hear they break up communities and families...

Please give me a fill

Im going in for a fill on the 23rd... which is in just over a weeks time.
Im really hoping for a big fill, I know im not going to have a huge weightloss and I really want to be able to feel this band working. Sometimes I do, but majority its not really working.

I ate, just then, a bowl of chicken country caserole and a choc coated ice cream, im full now, not overly full but the bowl would of been able to have a cup or a cup and a half of food, probably 2 cups... and I thought I would be having smaller meal sizes that that...

I dunno im just hoping for the next fill to be as succesful as the 2nd.

I need to go though, the man is calling...

Got a hair cut today! Think I may have lost a kilo in hair... or lease a pound lol


seeya

Gym Gain

So its been a while since I have posted... Been busy.

Been going to the gym at 5:15 in the morning and working till 5:30 at night, then studying in the afternoons. But im handling it pretty well. I think thats because of all the gym activity.

But ive put on 4 kilos. Magic 4 Kilos (8.8 lbs) I think this may be to me drinking vodka sunrises and eating chips this weekend... plus the stupid weight training the personal trainer wanted me to do...

Ive stopped the weight training, Its stupid and Im saying that with plain but strong tone.
Why the fricken hell would a 270lb person need to fricken tone muscle! He''s saying the more muscle you have the more you loose.... Frick mate I've got plenty of your so called muscle, I use it every day to haul my 125 kilo body around, which used to be a 121 kilo body untill you made me do these stupid weight training things and I drank alcohol for the first time in like 2 months. which is pretty good for a 20yr old.

But seriously... Im not going to do a weight training regime right now, all I want to do is loose weight, and when i get down to something like 20 kilos to goal, Ill start toning up.


So yesterday I slugged it out on the cardio and felt good for it, the day before I did my little 60/40 cardio and weights, which im not going to do again caue I wake up with sore muscles and that makes my day at work shit, and this morning... well Im lazy from waking up at 5 every morning and im going to aqua aerobics tonight so im not going to the gym this morning.

Thats the update, Im goign to go to the bathroom and weight myself.

Jello

Hey guys, I was just reading a post by My Pursuit of Skinnyness and she mentioned Sugar Free Jello
http://mypursuitofskinnyness.blogspot.com/

I just wanted to say that yesterday I had the most delicious desert (it was really dinner as I had a chicken wrap but it got stuck after acouple of bites)
It was Lite Ice cream with melon Sugar Free Jelly.... it was fricken amazing!
I recommend you all go to your local stores, buy jelly, buy some ice cream and ditch the dinner menu for a little bowl of this awesome desert... then Wake up at 5am the next morning and slug it out at the gym!

GO.... NOW!

Working Blog

Im at work today... along with every other monday-Friday, But Im blogging today which is something I dont think I have done before because usually my screen is in view of other people...

Today I am in at 7:40am and not ment to be in till 8:30. Keen? No... i just overestimated time.

I went to the Gym this morning, did a lovely workout which included:

15mins on the treadmill at spead 5.5 incline 1.5 then a 3 min cool down.
15 mins on the cross trainer - 3 min cool down
15 mins on the bike - 3 min cool down

then some weights....

Then I went into the showers... which have no water pressure (I cant blame them for having water savers, Imagine the water bill they would have! all them sweaty people!)

It was nice though, I bought a new body wash and it smells soo yummy XD

But yeah... I woke up at 5am... left at about 5:15 (took me a lil while to get ready cause I wasnt properly prepared last night) and got there about 5:30 and so I must of down all up a 1.5 hour work out and then a half hour shower and get ready to get here at 7:45... I dont know... For a Trainee Accountant Im not very good with numbers... Guess thats why Im still a Trainee.


But I just want to express my feelings about joining the gym, and its my blog so I can make as long a post as I want!

Last night I woke up several times during the night and checked the time to see if it was time to get up, I dont know if I was excited about going to the gym or whether I was apprehensive... But yeah woke up several times...
The question kept on going through my head on whether or not I could do this, get up every morning at this time and go to the gym, My fiance, love him, questioned me whether I would stick at it and I expressed to him that I would be able to that this isnt like every other diet ive been on, this is different... But now I have the questions running in my head...

So anyway got on the treadmill did my little walk... had the little TV screen on the machine in front of me off so i culd see my body (not purposely, i just have an iPod and prefer to listen to my music) it kind of reminded me of how far I have come and yet how far I have to go to look like the skinny girl that was 2 machines down from me (there was basically her, another lady, some people doing a class and acouple of guys doing weights in the gym at that early hour in the morning, not bad!)

Did all my work outs, i think music really affects how hard I push myself and im going to get a better music library/ playlist so I can utilise that.

I did some weights (stayed away from the ones involving legs... I think I worked them enough)and I decided that while my gym playlist with alot of dance music on it was great for cardio, Korn and Marilyn Manson are really optimum for weights.

Then I headed off to the showers... No one there, but the showers had no shelves!

So I had to leave my stuff out in the changing bench, go in... shower and awkwardly arrange my stuff on the one little hook on the back of the door of the shower. (luckily i bought a toiletry back that has a special hook to hang on the door for the shower.)

It was if I was making excuses in my head at that stage why Joining this gym was maybe not a good idea... Because of the showers! Then I realised to myself:

You can make excuses all you want and you will get no where but where you were before. Or you can find a solution to the problem and succeed in what you strive towards.

So next time Im only taking in the bare essentials into the shower, taking a plastic bag to put my gym clothes in, showering, grabbing my work clothes, and getting dressed in another shower that hasnt got a soaking wet floor. And I can do this because of the whole time I was in there, No one else was there cause its so fricken early in the morning.

So my arms are sore, my legs are sore but I am happy.
Happy that I have made this decision to change my life and Happy that I have taken this weightloss and life improvement to another step.

Also I am happy that I am taking this time out for me. Just for me, and then I can go to work, work productively and then go to uni or go home and study productively and improve my life and my families life.


Peace out

If anyone reads this thank you, I understand that people would have given up a long time ago.... But I needed to get this off my chest and realise the positivity of what I am doing.

Gym membership

So its been ages since I posted...

Im down to 121 Kilos which means a 19.6 kilos weightloss! yay!

on Friday I went to the local Gym, which is Anytime Fitness and signed up for a 7 day free trial.

I talked to the lady there who was really nice, I know they get paid to be nice but she was really nice to me and helpful. I started talking to her about my goal, weightloss obviously and getting focused and happy during work and Uni.

I told her about my lap band, she said she had a friend who is getting one in 2 weeks and we talked about it....

I dont want to be the kind of person who gets this surgery and just lets it do all the work for them.... I want to use this as a tool to its best abilities...

Im excited about going to the gym... Ive got all my stuff, got ome really good exercise shoes, I have very stupid feet and they are impossible to find shoes for. But i found some New balance shoes that are very wide so they feel fantastic on my feet.... aside from the two giant blisters on my toes that I have from wearing some $15 BigW shoes that I bought.

I havent had good exercise shoes... ever... Ive always bought cheap ones...
These ones feel fantastic.Very Happy....

I also got some cute work out clothes, a Bright green polo shirt and 3/4 length track pants, I love them! I look so skinny! well not skinny... but i look like ive lost alot of weight!

43lbs down in 3 months, Im very very happy.

Now its time to kick in the exercise and live the life that I want to live!

So im going to go to the gym as soon as ive woken up in the morning, being I wake up at 5:00 and it takes 20 mins to get to the gym I joined. So 5:30 am Gym time (the OH wakes up at 5:00 so it wont be hard to wake up at that time cause I generally do anyway). Im going to do a work out and then drive the 5 mins from the gym to work (it takes 25mins to get to work each day and the gym is on the way).

I also tried on a wedding dress, was way too big for me, but it was soo pretty =)

Very excited to finally go and do a proper wedding dress shop!

ANyway that is all I think i might go have a nanny nap... i be sleepy

Softdrink = Nasty Drink!

Ok I just had to post this! I had a drink of soft drink, first time in nearly 3 months... and omg! FERAL! it was disgusting! like... bubbly water with sugar! thats all it is really but jesus!

anyone wanting to give up soft drink, stop drinking it for 3 months... fantasize about how good it used to taste... then have a drink of it and vomit!

21/2/2010

So its Sunday, And I took Will (the Step Son) to a local scout camp where my mum (who is a cub scout leader) was for Braiden Powell's Birthday party thing (braiden powell (sp?) is the founder of scouts just so those who dont know are up to date).
Went for a fricken long hike... or Bush Bash rather.... down and then back up a hill....

Then I went with Luke to help mow my mums lawn... Yes... I mowed a lawn... With a real... pull the cable to get it started Lawn Mower!

And with all this exercise that I have done today, What have I eaten in order to make it productive?

a english muffin with 3 eggs for breakfast, Juice, a small packet of chips, cruskits with vegemite, and In the oven right now is half a pizza made with olive oil, prawns, sundried tomato feta, cherry tomatos and sweet chilli sauce... and i will be putting light sour cream on top...


Failure of a day?
Yes


Inspirational quote:

Hard doesn't equal impossible.

19/02/2010

So i get to spend one precious night with my Fiance... One night without his son being here... And where am I?

In my bedroom, on my bed.... Alone... yes... alone.

Why?

Because he has started smoking again. And I have been unaware for the last 5 days that he has been puffing away.

Im so angry at him.Im so dissapointed at him... and I feel betrayed. Because I got engaged to him under the pretext that he wasnt going to smoke ever again.

He never really does smoke... he just has these phases when he does. and I catch him out get hurt cause he lied to me and then he promises to quit again.

Im just tired and was looking forward to spending a lovely night with my fiance alone... and now I cant even go near him cause he stinks.....

I hate the smell of tabacco, it reminds me of my father, who I love, but he stinks and it reminds me of every bad memory I have of my childhood.

And its not something you really wanna be reminded of when you kiss your partner....

He wasnt a smoker when I started dating him. And about 3 weeks into our relationship he was having a coffee and lit up a cigarette, And i told him if he smoked that I was leaving, and that I didnt want to date a smoker. And he smoked it cause he didnt like being told what to do, so I left.

Thats where he first promised not to smoke again. Then there were countless times when he could take it back up again and then i would have a fight with him and then he would give it up again. The cycle of smoking.

anyway.... Theres my ramble... ive lost 18 kilos as of this morning YAY!


My Quote:
Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement


My Goal:
25kilos lost before the 30th June (19 weeks), I have lost 3 of those Kilos

19/02/2010

In spite of my failure in the last couple of days, I have still lost .6kilos ( 1 pound ) since Wednesday, making my progress towards my 25kilo (55lb) loss before the 30th June, 3 kilos (6.6 pounds). Pretty good for week 1 if I do say so myself!
My aim was to hit 1.3 kilos loss per week, Ive doubled it this week and hopefully will loose some more weight before the end of the week and extra weight next week as I have my 3rd fill that will compensate for any plateau-ing.
I dont know if I want to tell my band doctor about my goal.. They seem to really want you to loose slowly and stay on a normal eating, just smaller amounts diet. I dunno maybe if I told her I'm aiming to get below 100kilos by the end of this financial year so I can spend the next financial year bellow 100.

I am in the accounting trade so we go via financial years, So i have found myself putting more importance on financial years than I do calendar years. I would love to start to 2011 financial year bellow 100 and then I could aim for my goal (30 kilos from it if i got to 100) for next summer, (december in Australia) Which I probably wont be able to get to because I know when you have plenty to loose it will come off quickly but once you get closer to that magic number its starts to really slow down.

I dont care, If I am bellow 100, then I will be able to go to the beach with the boys next year and be able to enjoy myself. This year I wasnt and whenever the OH looked dissapointed because I wasnt going to go into the pool with them or to the beach with them I promised him that next year, I will come.

I use the whole, I hate beaches, sand gets everywhere, Excuse... when reality is... I hate walking along the beach cause the sand falls out from under you and makes your ankle twist and an ankle twisting with 120-130 kilos ontop of it is not fun, and I dont want to get into the water cause I dont want to show off my legs cause i have calfs the size of tree trunks.

I have another quote:

You may be on the right track you will get run over if you just sit there.

I'll try and post these on all my posts... I like them and they keep me motivated.

18th February

So Im having a fail of a couple of days...

Havent really been good.... Been very Bad actually...

I would like to kick myself back into gear... I would love to loose a bit of weight before my next fill.. Suprise the fill dr.

And get bellow 120... omg bellow 120 XD

Just posting... That is all....

25% of the way!

Ok well although my scale bumped back up this morning, im going to ignore that number and go from what it said yesterday cause I did eat a big dinner last night and I havent... gone to the bathroom yet.

I am 25% of the way to my goal! Granted you would have to round up the 24.7% to 25... But 25% of the way there!

Im hoping to still reach my 55lbs goal by the 30th June 2010. Which ive got 10% of the way there so far... Im kicking my ass back into gear and going to exercise next week, ive just had a sore ankle this week... *excuses excuses*

3rd Fill is coming up for Thursday next week. Very much looking forward to that! FILL ME UP! I have restriction... But its not good restriction. and its starting to fade...

Thing i have learnt about my band though is that if I drink heaps of fluid it is quite loose and I can eat almost ANYTHING, but if I dont drink much water... dont even try to eat anything solid.

I guess this may be the same for alot of people.

A little quote that I really like:

"A ship is safe in the harbour, but thats not what it was built for"

Valentines day!

Hey Blog...

So I went out last night, Thats was alright, went to a guys house for his birthday havent seen him in ages. there were alot of people there.

His brother was there, and his brother used to be very chubby and well no he used to be obese and there was this guy there that was tall, buff and blonde and my friend I came with was talkign to him and saying that he had lost alot of weight and was looking good... and I was looking between her and him going... I know this guy... until Kat looked at me and said... Oh you dont recognise him do you! It was the brother. He'd lost a fuck load of weight and was looking really buff.

Made me start thinking.. Frick I wanna be in that position.... where people dont recognise me cause im so skinny. =(

I just got a bunch of roses =) yay!

Im going to go have breakfast soon... Im back on Opti Fast. in order to reach my goal. Will try and do some exercise tomorrow morning before work but we shall see how that goes.

The boys wanna go to the beach but yeah im not going.

Alright well that is all... farewell

11/02/10

So Im noticing some differences in myself... Some major ones. My engagement ring is starting to feel weird because i can move it so easily... Thats probably the one place I dont want to loose weight in because I dont want to have to get to the stage where I cant wear it.

I dont think i wrote about my embarrising moment the other day...

When I started my Pre-op diet I took a stark Naked photo of myself up front and to the side. So I can see the real, bare naked different in my body. The other day I took another one cause im 15kilos down and there are differences. I did have the intention on Comparing the two but I cant find where I put the first photo on my computer... (I hid it so no one could find it... Now I cant)

I had to go and print off some photos because my OH and I had an engagement party on the 23rd of January and my lovely Uncle took photos for us. I also took some photos on my camera before the event and of some friends. So I loaded up all the photos onto a USB stick, strolled down to the store, popped in the USB Stick. And up comes 2 Naked photos of myself. In the middle of the store. Guess I found them.

Could have just died... right there...

Up side... I can see a difference in my body.

Monday

I wish I had something funny to talk about... Or I could write witty and comical posts like those I follow... But I cant... Cause I'm not funny... Im turning into a true accountant...

So today I got stuck... twice, Which seems to be a bit of a continuous thing with me...

I guess i need to really learn what im doing...

So I did my 2 miles this morning HAZZAH! Go me.

And, I dont know what else to write...

I have very cute dogs by the way...

But im hoping for hanky panky time tonight with the Fiance.... He really doesnt have an option... I will result to rape... Its been too long

Question, What do you do if your step son is being teased and bashed in school and is only in Grade 3.

Ok well Im outie... Going to go dream of being skinny

New Goal!

Ok Im setting myself a new goal!

I want to be at 99kilos by the 16th of May 2010!

Thats a 25 kilo loss in 15 weeks.... Most likely not going to happen so i have a "I'd be happy with goal" of 110 which is roughly the weight I was when I met my Fiance. Thats a 15 kilo loss in 15 weeks. Which I am pretty sure I can do. with 2 fills in between.

So thats my goals!

I lost 1 kilo this week, which I do not deserve as I have been eating horribly and not exercising.

The scale this morning said I have put it back on though... so uh oh!

So Im going to be dieting, well not dieting because dieting got me to this spot. Im going to be watching what goes into my mouth, Im going to eat cruskits as snacks, or an apple or tea. No biscuits, or musli bars or whatever.

Also going to eat off of a small plate instead of a normal size one.And im not going to fill it up. And I wont eat unless Im hungry...

These are basically the Bandster rules I think... So in order to reach my goal. Im going to follow them... And exercise! did a 2 mile aerobic walk thanks to Leslie Sansone and her lovely team. Feeling good.

Will update soon

Updating ze Blog

Just thought I would give a quick update of my blog.

SItting outside... well kind of outside, Im in the garage with the door open.... I have a little seating area out here... Luke calls it my Cafe le Garag'e. It super duper hot though and my glasses are fogging up so i might go back inside...

Would be nice if there was a breeze?.... no....ok...

Somoene just pulled up out the front... the next door neighbour house is for rent, well the duplex... and they are coming over. No it was the owner! just me the owner! she said thank you for being such great tenants! yay!

shit and im all sweaty and yucky! Brilliant!

I might go and shut up my dog.

No but if i leave she might think im weird...

Probably thinks im weird anyway... sitting out front typing on my computer...

Oh well. anyway Luke should be back soon.

Luke is back so im going to go

Bad Day

Wow... Did I have a bad day today or what!

1200calories and that was after my afternoon snack...

I had some chocolate mud cake.... Some BBQ chicken on Cruskits and some other naughty stuff.

But I did record it...

other than that... lost 2 kilos last week yay!

Hazzah and trying to get the boys eating healthy. My future step son is worrying me with his weight gain. So we're eating healthy...

2nd fill

I had my 2nd fill today, went rly well. Ive got aa whole lot more restrictino. I had about 700calories today!

A little bit hungry right now... im on a 3 day self imposed fluids thing. and then ill go onto mushies and then onto soft foods then onto solids.

I lost 2 kilos according to my surgeons scales so i am happy with that!

on a whinging note.... I love the weightloss dont get me wrong but every time i look in the mirror and notice a bit of a difference, although I feel good about myself, I think "brilliant im getting back to how i used to be" I wont feel like im actually going anywhere untill im under 100 kilos. like tredding any new ground because ive been here before...

But I am happy and excited about any weightloss and im loving it!

yay for me and my band

oh and i now have 4cc in my band.. got a .8mm fill

Exercise

First off - - - - > Lost 1 kilo this week XD!!!!

and to the main point!

EXERCISE!

omg... really need to get this into my head hey? Im doing it ... like I'm trying to....

wow excuses there....

ok honestly though... I cant look at exercise as a weightloss tool.... because that hasnt got me anywhere before

I have to look at exercise as... If I dont do it Im shitty all day and I have giant fights with the fiance and end up throwing his ring back at him.

He deserved it dont get me wrong.... but prevention is a nice thing too

Soo! Tomorrow (and maybe a walk this afternoon) Im going 2 miles in the morning then 1 mile the next day, 2 miles, 1 mile switch and change... If my ankle is sore, I do the arm movements, If my arms are sore, I do the leg movements.

Not because I want to loose weight. But because Im a shit person to be around and a much more productive worker once ive had a little bit of sweaty time.

Means Ill have to get up a bit early this next 2 weeks (going in half an hour early to make up time for taking time off to go and get a fill and see my dietician) but thats ok, Ill just get up when Luke does.

Food wise... Frick I need to sort that out!

I need to get me some coffee flavoured diet shakes, I loved those in the morning pre op....

Question can you put instant coffee in a vanilla diet shake? and Itll do the same thing? Need to try that out!

So My fill is on thursday excited for that! going to go on a liquid diet for as long as possible, and going to talk to my dietician about really kicking this into gear, What can I do to make myself as sucessful as possible with the aid of this band?!

I paid 3500 for this surgery! IM GOING TO FRICKEN WORK IT!

At Work

I;ve got 8 mins until my lunchbreak is over, well really 14 mins cause I didnt take it till 1:06... thats not the point.


I am going well at the moment. Im tying to keep my calorie intake down (she says after eating honey chicken and rice....)
But I dont even feel like i've had anything done right now...
Ive only had one fill and i know it takes acouple for you to feel real restriction So I am keeping that in mind and exercising and limiting calorie intake.

I want to get to the stage where all I can eat is Diet Shakes and Cruskits. Thats what I could live off of and that is what I'd be happy to live off of.

So I pushed forward my fill that was scheduled for 1month and 1 week after my last one to next week so it will only be 3 weeks after my last one and Im going to talk to the fill doctor (who is also a bandster as well, shes sooo lovely and nice) and try and persuade her to put alot of fluid into my band. maybe 2.5cc or 2cc.
I want this to start working better for me. I am working, im exercising, dieting, and drinking 2ltrs of water per day. But I would like it to stop making me hungry and to stop me from eating a lunch size portion from the chinese shop. When it comes down to it im eating 3/4 to 7/8 of what I used to be able to and I dont think that that is where I should be at.


So I'm going to get a fill next week =)


But engagement party this weekend, Im very very excited about that. Should be heaps of fun. Cant wait.

The diet jounral is going well... day 3 today and im about to record the amount of calories that I think I ate just then.... eep!


Ok Back to work I go....

Boring stupid Scanning -_-'' I hate being a trainee sometimes.

Teeth Pain and Journals

Went to the Dentist today and got my teeth fixed... Was kinda painful.

mouth was numb for forever. got feeling back in it now... but frick it hurts...

I bought a diet,... Sorry a Lifestyle Journal today. I can record what I eat and how much i drink and exercise.

It keeps me honest and allows me to see what I truly am eating and exercising.

apparently you loose twice as much weight when you keep on of these as when you don't. I also bought a calorie book that shows you the amount of calories in your food.

I wasnt taking it all seriously before.

Now I am.

Am I taking this seriously?

Hey so Im very pissed off and depressed with myself.

I've done it all, Ive got the band in, I've gone through the pain... I waited the 7 months since my initial decision to get it, and now its like... Im not taking it seriously.

I mean im exercising and Im drinking plenty of water... but my diet, leaves something to be desired.

Im trying out different things, like eating a solid breakfast to stay fuller for longer and not drinking 30 mins before, during and 30 mins after eating. But Im not loosing weight, and my scales are being quite mean and saying on day that I've not lost any weight and then one day that ive put on like 6 kilos.

so they are all over the shop and cannot be trusted, So that means I either wait until each fill in order to get my weight or I use the Wii Fit.

I dunno...

Maybe it would be better if I waited until my fill....

I just feel as if Im not taking this seriously... Cause yesterday I had (ontop of my 3 individual meals) 2 biscuits a small icecream cone and 3 iceblocks. And thats not good for you!

Its TTOM and so I'm a bit cranky and Im back to work which I thought would make it all better... But I don't think it really is...

I just want to get serious and loose the weight....

Today is my 1 month bandiversary and according to my scales ive put on 6 kilos. I know thats not true and since the bathroom is on a slight angle they are being thrown out by that plus they are probably sick of my fat ass standing on them, but I hate stepping on them and seeing that number.

I.. well What can I do to loose weight? Im going to go search the lap band talk forums for some answers.

Cheerio

Wishing

I know its like sook sook cry cry but Jesus I want to be skinny!

I want to wear cute things, go clothes shopping in normal shops and I cant wait to go on my shopping spree!

Im just looking online at all the cute things that are out there... soo many cute things you can buy! SOOO MANY!

But ... they only look cute on skinny people and for them to look cute on me I need to be skinny .... Sooo life sucks.

but i can hope and look and dream... *sigh* And of coarse.... SAVE! and diet and exercise...

Ive kicked my ass today. I cleaned my extremely dirty car.... and then I had the brilliant idea of going for a bike ride...

I with a couple little set backs got ready got the bike out and went riding, Seat was horribly uncomfortable so I put it down a bit... still uncomfy but bikes are... arnt they? or is it just my fat ass?

anyway when i went out of the track on onto the road a bit I got freaked out cause there was only a small amount of road for me to ride on and there were cars everywhere and i wa slike OMG SHIT!

So i peddled really hard and got out of there ASAP.... GOt home... off the bike nearly fell over with jelly legs and yeah... Not doing that again I think Ill stay with Leslie Sansone and my walk away belt...

Made a new character in Wii Fit, called her Flabby2Fab and started with a new goal of loosing 4 kilos in the next month. A goal that I think is attainable.

We shall see.

anyway... Im off fair the well

Could not prepare

I wanted to put a post in today.

I got my first fill today... after around 2 weeks of not feeling as if I've had anything done Im finally getting into the banding world!

I got 2.5cc in a 7cc band.

I just wanted to clear up that I prepared sooo much for this surgery, I spent months researching and on chat rooms asking people questions on what its like and what to expect, what the rules are etc etc. But no matter how much preparation you do nothing can prepare you for Banding life because everyone is different and you wont believe a sensation until you have experienced it.

You have to find out why the rules are there for yourself.

For example today, I didnt realise the importance of the water 30 mins before and 30 mins after but not during meals until today...

So yeah its very... exciting and new and its me learning how to use MY band, not anyone elses, MY band and what works for ME.

Full License

Yay! I finally got my Full License!

After 4 individual tests and 4 years of being restricted behind the wheel I am finally a fully qualified driver.

I had my dietitian appointment today and that went well.

Got a huge head ache right now! OW!

Its my mums birthday and we're going out to dinner with her.

We bought her a beautiful cake! its stunning!

and my sister is coming with her BF... Not too impressed about that though...

Ben came around to visit today, was nice to catch up.

Nothing really else happened today. Will got a haircut and I took some video back to the rental place.

Yay for an exciting life!

License

Went for my full license today. I failed.

Pretty depressed cause today just hasnt gone at all well. Took sunny (my dog) to the vet to get his vac's done and it cost 177 bucks.... then the vet said that she had to fix his tooth, one of his canine teeth and thats going to cost between 300-400 maybe even 500 bucks to do.

And Luke has to get his teeth fixed up cause he has tooth pain. Im getting mine done but my parents are paying for that. and ive got private health insurance.

im just upset cause i thought all the big bills where over with and we could start paying off the debt we have accumulated but I guess life doesn't stop giving you shit you just have to get better at dealing with it.

I have my first fill scheduled for thursday I hope its going to give me good restriction, Im going to ask the nurse/surgeon to put in as much as they can. Fill me up! I want restriction again, if that means me like eating 125ml if soup 3 times a day I will happily do it.

I just want to get this weight off of me and I want to get more money and I want to be happy.

I know being happy doesnt come from weightloss of wealth but frick it would be easier to be happy with money and good looks.

got a pair of jeans the other day that were 2 sizes down from my last pair of pants I bought. i was super pleased with that. They are tight but i thought there is no point in buying a pair of pants that fit and not have them fit in a month or so.

Im going to go back to being depressed and sad so bye

Happy New Year

Its the 01/01/10 Today, Crazy!

A new year, My first year as a bandster. and my first year with my lovely fiance.

I turn 21 this year. I'm getting so old!

As usual, my new years resolution is to loose weight... I think I might just achieve that this year with the help of my lap band.

I'm holding on for my fill! Can't wait to have a nice amount of restriction again!

Trying to organize an engagement party at the moment, the fiance doesn't want one but he doesn't like big groups of people... Its going to be near a park so he can get outside and watch his son and the other kids on the park if he gets too overwhelmed.

My dads doing the catering, thank god! and I'm going with my mum and Luke and the soon to be mother in law to the hall that we're having it in tomorrow. let her know whats happening and what not.

Then I'm going to go to see New Moon with my sister and mother on Sunday.

This morning I finally saw a big change in my body. I'm getting back to my old body while its slow, its a lovely change. just standing in front of the mirror naked and looking at a before pic i took for myself to be able to see the real difference instead of the difference hidden in clothing. and i can definitely tell that my stomach is shrinking. I'll be skinny for that wedding dress in no time! Hazzah!

I'm having a new eating plan tomorrow, i don't know how well its going to go when i have to go to other places but it will work until my next fill... which is not far away... If i can book it! I'm so stupid i haven't booked it yet and I haven't been able to get through to the office number! Kinda scared that I wont be able to get one before I go back to work! I need a fill! I need restriction!

I also need routine and regular exercise.

The routine is set down with work and the regular exercise is something that I'm definitely working on. I'm working out each morning with my Leslie Sansone DVDs and if I'm sore from those, like I was this morning, I'm walking the dogs.

Luke is looking for a new car. We put his car up for sale today on the Internet. Hopefully we can sell it ASAP as its giving him back problems.

The doggies are being noisy under the bed...

My mum bought me this bio oil stuff, which reminds me I need to go and put it on plus i need to go brush my teeth.

That's another new years resolution, Put on Bio Oil 2x a day and brush teeth 2x a day. brush my teeth each day but not at night, which I need to do.

So I'm going to go and do that before I forget.

Current States:

HW/CW/GW

140.6/128.9/70

I have a ticker... I just have to figure out how to put it on here...