I need a new Challenge, a New goal.. something short term, i always seek to far in advanced and that makes me fail. I need weekly goals...
Maybe next week I can have a goal that I will go to the gym each day sunday - Saturday. Even if its just a walk....
Or Maybe I can do a full week of liquids or something.... Can you guys help me out? I need someone to challenge me! Im going to post this on the lap band talk site so I might reach more people (no offence to my very dedicated 10 followers, your lovely)
Need to kick this back into gear. Been to lazy too long!
My Ticker
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Months of being un-motivated
I know this is kinda of a poo poo winging kinda thing, but its my blog so Im going to do it in the hope that putting these words out there will help me.
Ive had a stable plateau for about 2 months now. been around the 20 kilo loss mark and have been putting on acouple of kilos and then loosing them but havent been able to break that 20 kilo mark.
I feel like this is all a waste, because of my unmotivation. I was so motivated and so happy in the first couple of months, I lost so much weight and now, ive hit a stand still.
I feel like im getting pressure from my fiance to pick up the weightloss cause if i dont loose serious weight it seems as if the band is a waste, and i havent felt/noticed any changes.
Ive joined the gym and ive been going and ive got the tight fill that I wanted. So what now?
I know its very easy for me to blame my problems on others; its Luke's fault that i'm failing because hes giving me pressure, its works fault cause im so stressed, its the weather because its making me sick, its all the stress from buying the house (still waiting on finance btw).
I just dont want this to fail... its my last hope at being skinny and I cant fail at this.
i mean to cut myself (and the Band) some slack, Ive lost 20 kilos which is the most amount of weight ive ever lost and im not stacking it right back on.
I just want to kick my life back into gear... Im taking steps, Ive already started drinking more water and Im taking more protein and my multivitamins because ive been suffering from hair loss.
Should I got back to a shake diet? with a small meal in the afternoon?
Go back to the old, shake in the morning, fruit cup for a snack, bar for lunch and cruskits for afternoon snack then small meal for dinner with a frozen popper for desert.....
I dont know what to do.... I think i might put all the pressure off me to loose weight, tell luke that I feel that its making me sabotage and I need all the pressure taken off and I will do it in my own time.
What did you guys do when you hit something similar to this...
PS. I love seeing the shiny bits on my keys where they have been worn out by my typing.
Ive had a stable plateau for about 2 months now. been around the 20 kilo loss mark and have been putting on acouple of kilos and then loosing them but havent been able to break that 20 kilo mark.
I feel like this is all a waste, because of my unmotivation. I was so motivated and so happy in the first couple of months, I lost so much weight and now, ive hit a stand still.
I feel like im getting pressure from my fiance to pick up the weightloss cause if i dont loose serious weight it seems as if the band is a waste, and i havent felt/noticed any changes.
Ive joined the gym and ive been going and ive got the tight fill that I wanted. So what now?
I know its very easy for me to blame my problems on others; its Luke's fault that i'm failing because hes giving me pressure, its works fault cause im so stressed, its the weather because its making me sick, its all the stress from buying the house (still waiting on finance btw).
I just dont want this to fail... its my last hope at being skinny and I cant fail at this.
i mean to cut myself (and the Band) some slack, Ive lost 20 kilos which is the most amount of weight ive ever lost and im not stacking it right back on.
I just want to kick my life back into gear... Im taking steps, Ive already started drinking more water and Im taking more protein and my multivitamins because ive been suffering from hair loss.
Should I got back to a shake diet? with a small meal in the afternoon?
Go back to the old, shake in the morning, fruit cup for a snack, bar for lunch and cruskits for afternoon snack then small meal for dinner with a frozen popper for desert.....
I dont know what to do.... I think i might put all the pressure off me to loose weight, tell luke that I feel that its making me sabotage and I need all the pressure taken off and I will do it in my own time.
What did you guys do when you hit something similar to this...
PS. I love seeing the shiny bits on my keys where they have been worn out by my typing.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Quick Post
I just wanted to make a quick post with whats been happening in my life to date.
I got my fill, its going good alot more restriction in the morning and I can eat that solid-er stuff so Im going good I think.
I responded to a call for someone to review a Gastric Banding book, A self Biography of someone called "Fat-Chance" And Im getting sent the book in the mail at the moment, YaY!
And last but definatly not least! We are in the process of buying our first home.
We have made an offer, it has been accepted, we're going to look at the property again today and then sign up the necessary paper wrk and put down our .25% deposit ($830 which is non refundable)
The house needs a bit of work but its livable in while we renovate. It has a self contained granny flat downstairs which my mum will be moving into and helping us pay the mortgage.
There are two things Im worried about... well sorry three...
1. The other couple who had been making offers (an investment couple) and been having them rejected will now make a counter offer and beat us to the cake, now that they know the price that the owner will accept
2. We wont be able to get finance, we've got a back up plan of getting my mum to go guarantor for us and then later on re-financing so she doesnt have to. But we would really like to not go through all of that.
3. the roof is in horrible condition and needs completely replacing, we're doing all the pre-liminary building inspections assuming worry's 1 and 2 dont come true, but there is alot of big trees around the property and so we're quite worried that these have had a damagin effect on the roof, considering that I saw some roof tiles around the house and they have cut down one large tree recently and the branches off of another.
So we shall have to see, time for me to get ready for work, wish me luck today.... every time the phone rings im going to be scared its the real estate agent telling me that the other couple has made a larger offer.....
I got my fill, its going good alot more restriction in the morning and I can eat that solid-er stuff so Im going good I think.
I responded to a call for someone to review a Gastric Banding book, A self Biography of someone called "Fat-Chance" And Im getting sent the book in the mail at the moment, YaY!
And last but definatly not least! We are in the process of buying our first home.
We have made an offer, it has been accepted, we're going to look at the property again today and then sign up the necessary paper wrk and put down our .25% deposit ($830 which is non refundable)
The house needs a bit of work but its livable in while we renovate. It has a self contained granny flat downstairs which my mum will be moving into and helping us pay the mortgage.
There are two things Im worried about... well sorry three...
1. The other couple who had been making offers (an investment couple) and been having them rejected will now make a counter offer and beat us to the cake, now that they know the price that the owner will accept
2. We wont be able to get finance, we've got a back up plan of getting my mum to go guarantor for us and then later on re-financing so she doesnt have to. But we would really like to not go through all of that.
3. the roof is in horrible condition and needs completely replacing, we're doing all the pre-liminary building inspections assuming worry's 1 and 2 dont come true, but there is alot of big trees around the property and so we're quite worried that these have had a damagin effect on the roof, considering that I saw some roof tiles around the house and they have cut down one large tree recently and the branches off of another.
So we shall have to see, time for me to get ready for work, wish me luck today.... every time the phone rings im going to be scared its the real estate agent telling me that the other couple has made a larger offer.....
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Back Up
Well I have put on weight... I dont know if I have posted that before, but i went all the way up to like 125 (4kilo gain, 8.8 lbs) and im down to 122.8 as of this morning, but thats still around 1.8 kilos from where i was before (4lbs) So I am not happy... but Im hungry all the time! in the morning... all the time, its 6:42 am, Ive had a fruit cup (jelly n fruit) and Im still hungry, going to go make myself some cereal and yogurt soon...
Fill on Monday... Wont have lost any weight unless the scale wants to loose weight between here and then. So I will hopefully be getting a big fill... I need one, I want to set a date for my wedding but I dont want to do so before Im skinny.
Fill on Monday... Wont have lost any weight unless the scale wants to loose weight between here and then. So I will hopefully be getting a big fill... I need one, I want to set a date for my wedding but I dont want to do so before Im skinny.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Lie for a fill?
Hey guys, I was wondering if anyone out there had ever lied to get a big fill?
My surgery like to generally give them slowly, and think that Im loosing at a good pace, Well last month at least, which I was, but now it has slowed down to a non existance.
I think the proof is going to be in my weight gain from last time I got weighed at the surgery, but i was thinking of maybe adding in that I feel like i have no restrictio (which generally I dont) and that Iget ghungry all the time (which I do, 5am in the morning?! WTH?) So they are not really lies... just exagerations of the truth... right?
Im goign to a different fill guy on monday so I shall see how it goes with him....
wish me luck!!
BTW. Haircut looks fricken ridiculous... once it dried out and went back to its normal shape... I have one layer which sticks out at an awkward angle and it justs looks horrible, going to another hair dresser on thursday to get it fixed...
My surgery like to generally give them slowly, and think that Im loosing at a good pace, Well last month at least, which I was, but now it has slowed down to a non existance.
I think the proof is going to be in my weight gain from last time I got weighed at the surgery, but i was thinking of maybe adding in that I feel like i have no restrictio (which generally I dont) and that Iget ghungry all the time (which I do, 5am in the morning?! WTH?) So they are not really lies... just exagerations of the truth... right?
Im goign to a different fill guy on monday so I shall see how it goes with him....
wish me luck!!
BTW. Haircut looks fricken ridiculous... once it dried out and went back to its normal shape... I have one layer which sticks out at an awkward angle and it justs looks horrible, going to another hair dresser on thursday to get it fixed...
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Fruit Cup Dream
I had a weird dream last night....All throughout the weekend I had been wanting/eating/craving for, fruit cups (the jelly and fruit cups), the fiance has been stopping me eating too many of them, Bless him.
But yeah, This dream was that two friends came over and was they were leaving, or I was dropping them off, they had my fruit cups in their hands... and I asked for them back and told them off for stealing out of my fridge.
"Give me back my fruit cup!"
Thats all...
Oh an a church of the exclusive brotherin is apparently getting built up the road from me... I dont really know mucha bout this church but what I hear they break up communities and families...
But yeah, This dream was that two friends came over and was they were leaving, or I was dropping them off, they had my fruit cups in their hands... and I asked for them back and told them off for stealing out of my fridge.
"Give me back my fruit cup!"
Thats all...
Oh an a church of the exclusive brotherin is apparently getting built up the road from me... I dont really know mucha bout this church but what I hear they break up communities and families...
Friday, March 12, 2010
Please give me a fill
Im going in for a fill on the 23rd... which is in just over a weeks time.
Im really hoping for a big fill, I know im not going to have a huge weightloss and I really want to be able to feel this band working. Sometimes I do, but majority its not really working.
I ate, just then, a bowl of chicken country caserole and a choc coated ice cream, im full now, not overly full but the bowl would of been able to have a cup or a cup and a half of food, probably 2 cups... and I thought I would be having smaller meal sizes that that...
I dunno im just hoping for the next fill to be as succesful as the 2nd.
I need to go though, the man is calling...
Got a hair cut today! Think I may have lost a kilo in hair... or lease a pound lol
seeya
Im really hoping for a big fill, I know im not going to have a huge weightloss and I really want to be able to feel this band working. Sometimes I do, but majority its not really working.
I ate, just then, a bowl of chicken country caserole and a choc coated ice cream, im full now, not overly full but the bowl would of been able to have a cup or a cup and a half of food, probably 2 cups... and I thought I would be having smaller meal sizes that that...
I dunno im just hoping for the next fill to be as succesful as the 2nd.
I need to go though, the man is calling...
Got a hair cut today! Think I may have lost a kilo in hair... or lease a pound lol
seeya
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Gym Gain
So its been a while since I have posted... Been busy.
Been going to the gym at 5:15 in the morning and working till 5:30 at night, then studying in the afternoons. But im handling it pretty well. I think thats because of all the gym activity.
But ive put on 4 kilos. Magic 4 Kilos (8.8 lbs) I think this may be to me drinking vodka sunrises and eating chips this weekend... plus the stupid weight training the personal trainer wanted me to do...
Ive stopped the weight training, Its stupid and Im saying that with plain but strong tone.
Why the fricken hell would a 270lb person need to fricken tone muscle! He''s saying the more muscle you have the more you loose.... Frick mate I've got plenty of your so called muscle, I use it every day to haul my 125 kilo body around, which used to be a 121 kilo body untill you made me do these stupid weight training things and I drank alcohol for the first time in like 2 months. which is pretty good for a 20yr old.
But seriously... Im not going to do a weight training regime right now, all I want to do is loose weight, and when i get down to something like 20 kilos to goal, Ill start toning up.
So yesterday I slugged it out on the cardio and felt good for it, the day before I did my little 60/40 cardio and weights, which im not going to do again caue I wake up with sore muscles and that makes my day at work shit, and this morning... well Im lazy from waking up at 5 every morning and im going to aqua aerobics tonight so im not going to the gym this morning.
Thats the update, Im goign to go to the bathroom and weight myself.
Been going to the gym at 5:15 in the morning and working till 5:30 at night, then studying in the afternoons. But im handling it pretty well. I think thats because of all the gym activity.
But ive put on 4 kilos. Magic 4 Kilos (8.8 lbs) I think this may be to me drinking vodka sunrises and eating chips this weekend... plus the stupid weight training the personal trainer wanted me to do...
Ive stopped the weight training, Its stupid and Im saying that with plain but strong tone.
Why the fricken hell would a 270lb person need to fricken tone muscle! He''s saying the more muscle you have the more you loose.... Frick mate I've got plenty of your so called muscle, I use it every day to haul my 125 kilo body around, which used to be a 121 kilo body untill you made me do these stupid weight training things and I drank alcohol for the first time in like 2 months. which is pretty good for a 20yr old.
But seriously... Im not going to do a weight training regime right now, all I want to do is loose weight, and when i get down to something like 20 kilos to goal, Ill start toning up.
So yesterday I slugged it out on the cardio and felt good for it, the day before I did my little 60/40 cardio and weights, which im not going to do again caue I wake up with sore muscles and that makes my day at work shit, and this morning... well Im lazy from waking up at 5 every morning and im going to aqua aerobics tonight so im not going to the gym this morning.
Thats the update, Im goign to go to the bathroom and weight myself.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Jello
Hey guys, I was just reading a post by My Pursuit of Skinnyness and she mentioned Sugar Free Jello
http://mypursuitofskinnyness.blogspot.com/
I just wanted to say that yesterday I had the most delicious desert (it was really dinner as I had a chicken wrap but it got stuck after acouple of bites)
It was Lite Ice cream with melon Sugar Free Jelly.... it was fricken amazing!
I recommend you all go to your local stores, buy jelly, buy some ice cream and ditch the dinner menu for a little bowl of this awesome desert... then Wake up at 5am the next morning and slug it out at the gym!
GO.... NOW!
I just wanted to say that yesterday I had the most delicious desert (it was really dinner as I had a chicken wrap but it got stuck after acouple of bites)
It was Lite Ice cream with melon Sugar Free Jelly.... it was fricken amazing!
I recommend you all go to your local stores, buy jelly, buy some ice cream and ditch the dinner menu for a little bowl of this awesome desert... then Wake up at 5am the next morning and slug it out at the gym!
GO.... NOW!
Working Blog
Im at work today... along with every other monday-Friday, But Im blogging today which is something I dont think I have done before because usually my screen is in view of other people...
Today I am in at 7:40am and not ment to be in till 8:30. Keen? No... i just overestimated time.
I went to the Gym this morning, did a lovely workout which included:
15mins on the treadmill at spead 5.5 incline 1.5 then a 3 min cool down.
15 mins on the cross trainer - 3 min cool down
15 mins on the bike - 3 min cool down
then some weights....
Then I went into the showers... which have no water pressure (I cant blame them for having water savers, Imagine the water bill they would have! all them sweaty people!)
It was nice though, I bought a new body wash and it smells soo yummy XD
But yeah... I woke up at 5am... left at about 5:15 (took me a lil while to get ready cause I wasnt properly prepared last night) and got there about 5:30 and so I must of down all up a 1.5 hour work out and then a half hour shower and get ready to get here at 7:45... I dont know... For a Trainee Accountant Im not very good with numbers... Guess thats why Im still a Trainee.
But I just want to express my feelings about joining the gym, and its my blog so I can make as long a post as I want!
Last night I woke up several times during the night and checked the time to see if it was time to get up, I dont know if I was excited about going to the gym or whether I was apprehensive... But yeah woke up several times...
The question kept on going through my head on whether or not I could do this, get up every morning at this time and go to the gym, My fiance, love him, questioned me whether I would stick at it and I expressed to him that I would be able to that this isnt like every other diet ive been on, this is different... But now I have the questions running in my head...
So anyway got on the treadmill did my little walk... had the little TV screen on the machine in front of me off so i culd see my body (not purposely, i just have an iPod and prefer to listen to my music) it kind of reminded me of how far I have come and yet how far I have to go to look like the skinny girl that was 2 machines down from me (there was basically her, another lady, some people doing a class and acouple of guys doing weights in the gym at that early hour in the morning, not bad!)
Did all my work outs, i think music really affects how hard I push myself and im going to get a better music library/ playlist so I can utilise that.
I did some weights (stayed away from the ones involving legs... I think I worked them enough)and I decided that while my gym playlist with alot of dance music on it was great for cardio, Korn and Marilyn Manson are really optimum for weights.
Then I headed off to the showers... No one there, but the showers had no shelves!
So I had to leave my stuff out in the changing bench, go in... shower and awkwardly arrange my stuff on the one little hook on the back of the door of the shower. (luckily i bought a toiletry back that has a special hook to hang on the door for the shower.)
It was if I was making excuses in my head at that stage why Joining this gym was maybe not a good idea... Because of the showers! Then I realised to myself:
You can make excuses all you want and you will get no where but where you were before. Or you can find a solution to the problem and succeed in what you strive towards.
So next time Im only taking in the bare essentials into the shower, taking a plastic bag to put my gym clothes in, showering, grabbing my work clothes, and getting dressed in another shower that hasnt got a soaking wet floor. And I can do this because of the whole time I was in there, No one else was there cause its so fricken early in the morning.
So my arms are sore, my legs are sore but I am happy.
Happy that I have made this decision to change my life and Happy that I have taken this weightloss and life improvement to another step.
Also I am happy that I am taking this time out for me. Just for me, and then I can go to work, work productively and then go to uni or go home and study productively and improve my life and my families life.
Peace out
If anyone reads this thank you, I understand that people would have given up a long time ago.... But I needed to get this off my chest and realise the positivity of what I am doing.
Today I am in at 7:40am and not ment to be in till 8:30. Keen? No... i just overestimated time.
I went to the Gym this morning, did a lovely workout which included:
15mins on the treadmill at spead 5.5 incline 1.5 then a 3 min cool down.
15 mins on the cross trainer - 3 min cool down
15 mins on the bike - 3 min cool down
then some weights....
Then I went into the showers... which have no water pressure (I cant blame them for having water savers, Imagine the water bill they would have! all them sweaty people!)
It was nice though, I bought a new body wash and it smells soo yummy XD
But yeah... I woke up at 5am... left at about 5:15 (took me a lil while to get ready cause I wasnt properly prepared last night) and got there about 5:30 and so I must of down all up a 1.5 hour work out and then a half hour shower and get ready to get here at 7:45... I dont know... For a Trainee Accountant Im not very good with numbers... Guess thats why Im still a Trainee.
But I just want to express my feelings about joining the gym, and its my blog so I can make as long a post as I want!
Last night I woke up several times during the night and checked the time to see if it was time to get up, I dont know if I was excited about going to the gym or whether I was apprehensive... But yeah woke up several times...
The question kept on going through my head on whether or not I could do this, get up every morning at this time and go to the gym, My fiance, love him, questioned me whether I would stick at it and I expressed to him that I would be able to that this isnt like every other diet ive been on, this is different... But now I have the questions running in my head...
So anyway got on the treadmill did my little walk... had the little TV screen on the machine in front of me off so i culd see my body (not purposely, i just have an iPod and prefer to listen to my music) it kind of reminded me of how far I have come and yet how far I have to go to look like the skinny girl that was 2 machines down from me (there was basically her, another lady, some people doing a class and acouple of guys doing weights in the gym at that early hour in the morning, not bad!)
Did all my work outs, i think music really affects how hard I push myself and im going to get a better music library/ playlist so I can utilise that.
I did some weights (stayed away from the ones involving legs... I think I worked them enough)and I decided that while my gym playlist with alot of dance music on it was great for cardio, Korn and Marilyn Manson are really optimum for weights.
Then I headed off to the showers... No one there, but the showers had no shelves!
So I had to leave my stuff out in the changing bench, go in... shower and awkwardly arrange my stuff on the one little hook on the back of the door of the shower. (luckily i bought a toiletry back that has a special hook to hang on the door for the shower.)
It was if I was making excuses in my head at that stage why Joining this gym was maybe not a good idea... Because of the showers! Then I realised to myself:
You can make excuses all you want and you will get no where but where you were before. Or you can find a solution to the problem and succeed in what you strive towards.
So next time Im only taking in the bare essentials into the shower, taking a plastic bag to put my gym clothes in, showering, grabbing my work clothes, and getting dressed in another shower that hasnt got a soaking wet floor. And I can do this because of the whole time I was in there, No one else was there cause its so fricken early in the morning.
So my arms are sore, my legs are sore but I am happy.
Happy that I have made this decision to change my life and Happy that I have taken this weightloss and life improvement to another step.
Also I am happy that I am taking this time out for me. Just for me, and then I can go to work, work productively and then go to uni or go home and study productively and improve my life and my families life.
Peace out
If anyone reads this thank you, I understand that people would have given up a long time ago.... But I needed to get this off my chest and realise the positivity of what I am doing.
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