Updating

Hey guys, If anyone still reads this blog. So its been a year since I have posted on this blog..... too long! Im weighing currently at about 97.5 Kilos... so my weight hasnt changed much at all in this last year.... its been pretty hectic and ive been trying to figure out how the best way to use this tool that i have inside me. Ive been doing exercise, but it seems I get sick every time I start... Ive been eating healthy but my band has been too tight. Uni has been hectic this last year.... i think this is the first weekend when I havent had anything to do for uni. And of coarse, my Ex, Luke is still making my life hard.... as he has not signed over the paperwork for the house yet.... Which is all I will say until all the legal stuff is done. Anyway, cutting all the bullshit.... on thursday last week after an exam, I had an unfill, turns out they had mis-calculated how much was in my bad by .5ml which is your a bandster you know is a big deal once your around the 4.8ml mark (which I am now, in a 7ml band, that they only put in 6ml) So i have been making previous decisions on my lapband based on wrong data. luckily al my fills for 3 years post op are free, so I went in on thursday, got .3 out (brinigng me to the 4.8) and I am feeling sooo much better.... I can drink fluids in the morning..... its 11:35 and Im eating a hardboiled egg.... I ate salad last night.... which was delicious! I miss salad..... So I am trying something new.... because my Favourite blog for band friendly recipes has gone, I am making my own.... Its called the Happy Bandster and it is very much a work in progress at current. But I will be posting recipes, exercise tips, motivational stuff, and lap band tips that I have picked up on the way.... Its target audience being people like myself who have been taken by the band as far as it will take them by itself and have to re-learn all the tips/tricks and recipes to ensure they are making the most out of this wonderful tool, and can live happily with their band, and continue to loose weight. Thehappybandster.blogspot.com

A Lot can change in 8 months

FIRST OFF -

I need to publicly admit that I have previously set goals for myself that I have NOT achieved... I am not at 85 and its way past the end of the year... Im not at 85 and its past my birthday... Ok... but thats ok... thats in the past.

OK, Now:


A Lot can change in 8 months -

I broke up with my Fiance - Kicked him out of the house.

I got a new job which I love!

Im keeping the house.

and, I have some new friends and have gotten in touch with some old ones.

What hasnt really changed??? Well my weight =(

While I am down about 10 kilos which is good - it isnt great.

I have reached the amount of weight that the lap band is supposed to help you with - so I am a lap band success story! yay!

-------


In summary to all the above - I have made the decision that I want to loose 20 kilos - I dont have my ex as a sabotager anymore - its just me.

I need to focus on me - make me a priority.

Ive gone back on Optifast - im not doing intensive cause thats too hard lol Im doing transitional. I think Ill do that to about 15 kilos - then re-evaluate my goal - if I want to loose more than 5 more kilos ill continue, if not Ill go down to maitenance slowly.

Breaking up with Luke - was in all honesty - the best thing I have ever done - I can re-focus on me - re-evaluate my life, my goals and really think - is this what I want - and the answer now is yes. Before I was scared of change - now Im loving it... everything in my life needs to change - its not good enough how it is. Sure some things are great - I have a great job, i have a house, car... I have beautiful friends who support me and who are coming back to me after I basically ditched them for 3 years. Im also seeing someone - but Thats nots not defining my happiness and im not defining what he is or where it is going - its just fun.

My life is fun.... and when I sit back and think about it... I ONLY have 20 kilos to loose... then im done - thats it... its over - no more... no more dieting (except to loose the 1 or 2 kilos that sneak back on)... no more avoiding stores because they wont hold my size clothing.... no more of that crap... I know theres a shit load of mental crap that I need to deal with - and thats why im trying to get back into blogging to help myself deal with it all - but physically - I have 20 kilos left to go... ill be happy with the number 78. Im over the moon im below 100 kilos... funny thing is that 2 weeks after Luke left - I got under 100. Something I have wanted for ages... but he hasnt wanted because that would mean im lighter than him.

the focus now is not to think - oh ive lost 42 kilos... thats so great! go me! its to be like, ok... you've lost 42 kilos.. you only have 20 more to go.... make these last kilos count so you really feel like you deserve it, like your worth it.


Now I need to go drink another bottle of water and have my last fruit serve...


yay for me lol.

So I've kept true to my determination. I've set myself a calorie limit as I do not like strict diets and think a calorie limit is more reasonable.

i did that BMR and h calculation thing and came up with a 2335 to maintain and 1335 to loose.

Which gives me lots of hope. I mean I can have bad days, but as long as I stay under the 2335 im ok. and If I aim for 1335 i will be good.

Ive lost 1 kilo so far... i think thats also from passing some ... bowel movements.

Stupid Goals

Hey,

So heres a stupid goal

Getting down to 85 Kilos before the end of this year....


You know what FUck it ! I Can do it!

I Sell myself short sooo much! I dont believe in myself! I HAVE LOST 30 KILOS! (66lbs)

I can fucking do this.


2 Ltrs of water a day - and fuck it I can drink diet cordial.
1 baby bel cheese
1 meal replacement bar
1 shake
1 small meal (or soup) - with bread if it soup is low in cals
2 serves of fruit.

thats a shit load of food to eat and I will not Sabotage myself! I DESERVE BETTER!

I deserve to look ok in a swim suit. even if it covers everything! I deserve to go fucking horse back riding these holidays!

I can do this! and I can do it before the end of the financial year!

I have to think like a skinny person and break myself out of this stupid - you dont deserve this crap!

I need to slow my way into exercise not go into it full ball! WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING!

I need to... wait I WILL stop letting people put me down, letting myself put me down.

So what if my tits looked better when I was fat... Thats the only thing that looked good! the rest looked fucked up and fat...

If you want to get married Lynette You need to loose this weight! You need to start respecting yourself and start putting your goals and your dreams in action. DOnt let this band go to waste! FUCKING DO IT!


NO BISCUITS
NO CAKE
NO FUCKING AROUND

Easy to say while its night time I think....


But Im going to fucking do it.

Im going to do this shit and stop my sub concious mind second guessing itself!



NO MORE CHEESLES! THEY ARNT THAT GOOD!

Learning

Hey,
so I've been keeping a food journal and recording what I eat but most importantly ive been recording the reasons why I overeat and cheat my band and solutions to the problem. One major one for example is bringing money to work,like cash. It's dangerous! I've got a yummy bakery downstairs and there's a snack bar thing like a vending machine on the other side of the officce,where the water cooler is. So to avoid temptation I don't bring money to work. Problem solved.
The next one is eating at uni.... I've resolved that bringing money to uni is a no no but the vending machines have a swipe thing for the card... So I'm taking a water bottle of diet cordial tonight n we shall see how that goes as I drink water mainly. But I'm at uni pretty late so I don't know if it's the best idea to be having water that late.....

And then there's binging at home. Yesterday there was a birthday cake so I had some and I think the sugar slump made me go on an eating fest. Also I think drinking my 2 ltrs of water each day is loosening my band heaps... So I might go for another fill.... We shall see
but I also need to keep myself away from the fridge.... It's an evil mistress. And sugary treats that do more long term damage than just the initial calories.

So that's what I'm doing. What did I eat, why did I eat it, and how I can avoid the situation again. I'm taking positive action to progress myself. As I'm sick of this slump and I wanna loose 22 kilos by Christmas. Probably not going to happen though.... But I'm going to try rly hard as I want to feel slightly comfortable in a swim suit this summer....

Well I did come down with a cold... yay for me...


28kilos down... which is 61.6lbs

im freezing cold right now... and going to work...

im on a liquid diet right now... and im going on it for as long as I can... Well liquid and mushie diet.

Yay

Maybe Getting Sick?

Ive been going to the gym this week... (its only tuesday... So Ive been going the last two days). Its been fricken freezing and I think as a result Im coming down with a cold... The back of my throat hurts...

On the flip side... optifast is going good. The diet fits really well into my life style as I get to eat easy and simple things during the day at work
My daily thing is now: - shake for breakfast, fruit cup for morning tea, bar for lunch, baby bel cheese for afternoon snack and I eat whatever I want for dinner oh and another fruit cup for desert

Im getting my 2 serves of fruit in and acouple of serves of veggies in the evening meal.

Im also drinking a shit load of green/white tea and a shit load of water.

And... not weighing myself till Saturday. Determined not to weigh myself till Saturday!

So just doing a blog at work during my lunch break... Its about to hit tax season (end of financial year is in 2 days) So ima be busy which makes this diet work all the more better for me.

CHow.